PMS = Psychotic Mood Sinks.. whatever that means, but it's a nerve-wrecking! I've been like in a cranky-grumpy attitude all day long. Felt like turn myself into somekind of old-menopause bitch who hasn't had any sex for century! if you know how it feels, slap me hard - I really need to get myself in center!

My brain doesn't functioning well. Thought it's kinda a numbness-symptoms that wallop me into pieces as I'm ruptured by the sense of solitude night, added up by missing things which consume you hard enough til' you barely even breathing.

Jibbering, as what I'm doing right now, might be the sole remedy for my hideous-forlorn night. Isn't that pathetic?
I know. Life's a BITCH for you to confront with, but this is definitely something that you have to deal for the rest of your pathethic life, isnt it? Sounds nasty, eh?

It's hard enough as it is. Not willing to explore how bad could the pain will be by adding up the real pain to my whole body, couldn't my day be any worse?!!?! My neck and my back, they're all killing me like crazy. Cramp all over my body just truly make my day.

yea, whatever...... Probably that's the most suitable word for what I've been thru today. Is this the feeling of loneliness or is this the feeling of rigidity to keep myself not missing him???? How hard could it be to actually kept yourself from gone astray? Hard enough baby..

It's been a while since my last blog ever.. right? Life has been quite cranky and wonderful at the same time.. Not to be mentioned that I start to hate my job and I failed the accounting subjects which caused me "International Student at Academic Risk". Isn't it horrible????
And I will be stupid enough if I dont drop my accounting, which I did! I changed the major to marketing, which hopefully will be more fun... *fingers cross*

NEWSFLASH:
The epiphany of harsh reality which actually brings more happiness in my life, has been constructed my emotion-degradation lately. To know that you had spent most of your precious time with someone which wasnt worth while, brings you heaps of joy and excitement as you find the new one.. He's my new excitement! (((:

....and this is how the story goes (I officially announced to make this new relationship publicly-known)

I dont believe in things called "Coincidence" when things, somehow, are just made up to be that way. I believe myself in FATE. Two strangers out of nowhere, with a whole different range of mates and dates, not even a clue of who was she/he, end up to be together as a friend, close friend, no-string-attached partner, and of course, boyfriend-girlfriend. Now you believe in faith?? I DO...

A gig, most likely to be a perfect "match-making" world for those who are single. But in fact, I was quite unavailable as most of you know.. "The slot has been taken"! But still, it doesn't close up the possibilty for you to meet up or even to exchange phone number with those bloke with a cutey-tushy. (((: I know it sounds horrible, but the hell with it! And I think it's quite normal for you to actually adore someone else when you're with someone else.. I'm only HUMAN darling..

And there's this guy, with the most exageratted-outfit, the most eye-striking-hair-do I've ever seen in my entire life. (I found him quite amusing.. and it kinda strike me). But there wasn't even a lil-drop of thoughts or the smallest part of me willing to know him or whatsoever. But yeah, it was FATE who actually brought me to him. Oh wait a minute.. it wasn't FATE, it was JESSICA! rofl. (I know my jokes are dry, but at least laugh on it. or FAKE it!)

This Jessica girl, I wasn't actually looking at her, inspite the fact that I was ,strongly agree, staring blankly like a stoned mullet at her friend who actually the guy with the exageratted-outfit, the most eye-striking-hair-do. Let's just call him "The-striking-guy". Anyways, yep I wasn't looking at her, but the guy was standing right behind her, so it might make my eyes pointed directly at her... So there she was, throwing me her friendly smile, which caught me into attention, so yea... I smiled back at her (I'm friendly, you KNOW!!!). She offered her hands, and shouted her name out loud, and fortunately I heard it and quite remembered it. And I shouted my name back.... Well I'm not sure that she heard it. And then we just split-up.

The second phase, I bumped into her again. And yeah she smiled at me again, either it's because she's friendly or in fact that I was actually half drunk and couldn't possibly keep my mouth shut and felt so hyper that kept me smilling, so she kinda forced to smile. Who knows honey..! After a while, maybe she kinda realized that I'm actually keep on staring at "The-striking-guy". Then she literally dragged "The-striking-guy" to me and introduced me to him... and I was like. "Wow, she can read my mind or did I say it out loud??". I was quite drunk to actually remember his name or even to hear his voice. So whatever, good luck with it!.......

The third phase, I couldn't even possibly stand on my on feet where I need Liying to be my guidance to the bar, to the toilet, or even to recognize people from uni. But I just kept wondering, why on earth would I be able to recognize "The-striking-guy" where there was time where I didn't actually recognized my boyfriend.. (Ooops. my EX-Boyfriend). It's kinda a thrill, wasn't it? So I braven up myself to ask for a picture with him. I forgot his name, so I tapped on his shoulder and practically mimic-ing my mouth for a word "PHOTO" and "PICTURE" with all those hands motion. And he was like.. "Ok.. Yeaa..!"

Wait a second.. I might have the picture! Hold on....

There it goes. Everytime I look at this picture, I was like "Hello stranger, who the heck are you?" lol.
But who cares anyway.!....

After the helluva party, I don't have any thoughts to actually know this guy. But, miraculously, (I'd say that..) it happened. I was browsing thru' friendster when all of sudden I saw a thumbnail of someone else's profile which has a quite similar colours with all the photos that I took from the party at the previous night. So I thought it might be someone that I could possibly met at the party. And there it was, the profile of "The-striking-guy" who has a name of "Reynaldo Vircansa Chairul"..... It's a typical me, eventho' I do not know who the hell he was, I kept adding him for my fs anyways. What I thought is, "I met you and we introduced ourself.. So whether you remember or not, I dont care! i'll add you anyway! (((:" I know.. weird me!

After few days, there's a msg from this guy. Asking me.. "hi, do I know you? Have we met before? You look familiar." And I was like, in my own thoughts. "Hell yea mister. Cant you see on my photos. You're there!"...but it didn't come out that way when I replied his msg. "Yep we met before. At the party at Docks Hotel..."
And there where all the things start!

We exchange our msn address.. chatting all night long. Talking about silly stuff which wasnt quite important yet couldnt get us to stop eventho it's LATE! And it continues for a while. But still I havent realize the spark that I like him. Well in fact, I was still with my EX and I remembered he's in a relationship with someone else. It dissapointed me a lil bit, but "Oh..well!".

It continues for months and months....

And it's just exploded on NYE!.. My EX left me behind on NYE to Melbourne to, frankly, met up with his "SEPHIA".. (for those who doesn't know what "sephia" means.. It's actually the "OTHER" girl!). What a bastard!!!!
So I joined up Edo for the NYE.

We went out to a bar, called ....... (hmmm I forgot!). We spent hours there.. We drank 5 different drinks, and the last one was horrible. It has Red Bull in it! I CANT TAKE RED BULL! It's just a horrible feeling, because the next thing you know, I couldnt breathe properly, and my heart beats so fast like it wanna drop off! Anyways, it was almost 4 in the morning where I have to catch a flight on 7 in the morning, so I only had 3 hours left. I was practically walk fast to the bus stop with Edo and Ronald (One of his friends that went out that night..). And I just couldn't find the bus, since there wasn't any bus to my place after 2 o'clock in the fucking morning on NYE!.. How great could that be!..

So Edo was offering himself to come along with me on the bus just to drop me home. Which he didn't because I refused the offer. That's when I realized that I kinda like him. But, I was still in denial! (((:

After the CNY, I went to Melbourne to catched up my Ex, which I believe now it's a fucking mistake.. Because I believe if I didn't go there I will have more time with Edo. hihi.. No matter how far we're apart, "unintentionly" I kept on msging him while I was away, and most likely to report stuff to him of what I've been doing and so on and so on.

Earlier on NYE, I asked him to accompany me to UTS to take care of my summer course withdrawal. He told me that UTS might close due to the New Year. But I wasn't quite sure, so I gave it a try. He was actually like 100% sure that it might close, but he didn't convince me about it just to got out with me.. (Naughty you!).. Apparently yea.. It was CLOSED!

It's quite a complicated and a long story. So a whole page won't be enough for me to tell you in details of what's going on before me and edo are bf-gf!

We went out quite a lot after New Year, we held hands, we kissed (which wasn't appropriate. But the hell with it!)..
I've been cheated on twice, so let's call it EVEN ladies and gentleman!
It was quite a thrill, and yep baby, "You're my new excitement!"...
And it's officially announced, we tied the knot on 23rd January 2008! (fyi.. no doves to be released and no bouquet to be thrown! ok?? ...)

So yea.. The slot has been taken, officially, by Reynaldo Vircansa Chairul!

and the case closed!

...the end...